Doubt; a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction.
A little over a year ago, I made the decision to schedule a personal retreat day once a quarter. I knew I needed time away from ministry to be still and to listen to God. It was a warm July day. As I sat quietly, I opened my Bible and began reading this passage found in Matthew.
“But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘Take courage. I am here!’
Then Peter called to him, ‘Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.‘
‘Yes, come,’ Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!’ he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. ‘You have so little faith,’ Jesus said. ‘Why did you doubt me?‘”
Matthew 14:27-31 NLT
Later that afternoon, I decided I would go for a walk. There was a pond with a pier that went about twenty feet out onto the water. I decided to sit down and soak up some sun. I began praying.
All of a sudden, God gave me the image of a storm we encountered on the way home from visiting friends in Chicago the weekend before. I had never been in a car during such a terrible storm. We literally had to pull over to the side of the road —we could not see in front of us.
As I was remembering that storm, God spoke to me, “Your soul is like that storm right now. See the calm water before you … this is your soul when you are abiding in me. I am calling you out on this water to come to me.”
I sat and wept because I know He was calling me to trust Him and step out of the boat just like he was calling out to Peter.
I don’t know about you, but I often display doubt when being faced with a decision. I knew God was asking me to step away from my ministry role. He had even given me a date. When I asked, “what’s next, God?” He quickly answered, “Trust me, where is your faith?” Wow. Just like Jesus reprimanded Peter for not trusting him to walk out onto the water, Jesus was reprimanding me.
It was another three months before I finally took that step of faith, and it has been eight months since that warm July day. God continues to remind me to trust him. He continues to give me peace in knowing that I did the right thing by stepping out of the boat.
Have you ever been afraid to step out of the boat, in fear of the unknown? Are you letting fear and doubt rob you of your God-given purpose? I’m here to say, Jesus loves you and wants what is best for you. He is for you and He will be with you. Now, get out of the boat!
