In this new season, God is showing me he is more concerned about my relationship with Him and who I am becoming rather than what I do. I had been running the race of full-time vocational children’s ministry for over twenty years. For thirteen of those years, I was working full time while juggling motherhood.
I wore the label of “doer” quite proudly. I have always been the high achiever type. As a 3 “The Achiever” on the Enneagram, I strive to DO everything with excellence. In every ministry I had the privilege to lead, I saw the need for improvements. I wanted to take the ministry to the next level. My gifts were putting structure in place, setting a vision for ministry, and helping families win at home.
Recently, I was looking back through my journals. I’m not sure where I read this, but it is a beautiful reminder for all of us. “Jesus desires presence over production.” Jesus doesn’t say perform for me. He whispers, “Draw near to me.”
“Come near to God and he will come near to you.”
James 4:8 (NIV)
Honestly, I never considered the years of ministry work as performing. Yet, as I continue to spend time with Jesus and get closer to him, I have come to recognize that some of my identity was in what I did. As I spend time in silence and prayer, I continue to hear Jesus whisper, Paula, I am with you. Your identity is not in what you do. Your identity is found in me. My dear child, you are my daughter. You are my beloved. Draw near to me.
What about you? Is your identity found in what you do? Are you an achiever like me? I challenge you to take time this week to sit with God. Draw near to him, and he will draw near to you.
Hi-God has been trying to slow me down too. It’s amazing what he can share with us if we are looking & listening.
Motherhood, and church activities (hospitality) took a big chunk of energy over the past 37 years. Then it slipped right into “grands.” God wants me to trust him more with what the next adventure looks like. I’m can’t wait!